what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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