she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize