Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
handjob tips. give me some.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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