i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
