The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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