"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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