That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
love makes seman taste better
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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