Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
where does the pee come out of this thing
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
