Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
