like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
