Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Every concussion has its silver lining
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
