So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
nutella sex= disaster
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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