everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
