Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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