Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
