You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
