Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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