Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
