i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize