it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
