it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
