i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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