Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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