sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
