Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
two words...techno handjob
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
