at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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