I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
