my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
