Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
