She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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