I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
