his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
40s are totally the cure
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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