I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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