Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize