he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
