i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
