I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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