How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
