She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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