doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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