absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
