and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
