I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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