Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
