All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize