I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
