You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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