My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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