if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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