Umm I'm too high to move.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
A bitchslap is in order.
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