i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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