This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
