She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
