i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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