He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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