put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
bring money and cleavage
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
