their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i love accidental penises.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm really busy with my period
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