your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize